Lame Looney

Everyone has been talking about the £30mil useless piece of meat that is Andrei Shevchenko. I will do one better. Named by Sir Alex Ferguson as one of the 5 world-class players he has ever coached, alongside Eric Cantona, Peter Schmeichel, Roy Keane and Ryan Giggs and costing the club in excess of £20mil, Wayne Rooney has definitely been placed on a pedestal by both his manager and his fans. I will stick my neck out to say that Rooney is overrated, and Manchester United is better off with him not in the starting lineup. Here’s why…

Statistics that matter, Rooney has scored 7 goals in 28 appearances against credible teams like Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Milan and Roma. This brings me to my first beef - Rooney does not perform on the big stage. Very often fading into obscurity when performing on the biggest stage, he certainly has failed to live up to the ‘world-class’ tag labeled on him. Granted, his role in the team is not one of being a natural goal-scorer, but then again besides Saha, Ruud van Nistlerooy and the now retired Solskjaer, there were not many of such players. This plus the point that he plays almost every game that he is fit to and the positions he finds himself in front of goal in matches, makes the lack of goals against big teams glaring. Cristiano Ronaldo can score more goals than Rooney, playing in a less forward and central position, on the big stage as well.

Known for his fiery and dogged playing style, he loses the plot too often and does unnecessary tackles or comes into confrontations with the opposition and the referee. He is certainly someone that does not lack confidence and he is very overt in showing it. He has improved somewhat in his relations with opposition players but he really has to check his tackles and less-than-subtle conversations with the referee or he will continue to be a disciplinary liability.

His playing style is another cause for concern. He has this habit of playing on his strength and determination, often running the ball into the wide and corner positions, very often crowded out by 2 or more defenders, and he will end up losing the ball. He loses the ball very often too, due to poor touch and awareness. He is unable to bring his teammates into the game (unlike Tevez), lacking the presence of mind and awareness that is vital for someone employed in that position. His finishing is inconsistent; he used to score spectacular goals and is able to put away easy chances, but he has yet to score in 10 competitive games 4 of which included slightly inferior teams. The only advantage having him on the pitch is his determination and physical presence, which could cause defenders problems and open up space for his teammates to capitalize on.

I find it quite an issue to name someone, who has just played 4 seasons for you and is only 22 years of age, alongside true greats like Cantona, Giggs, Schmeichel and Keane as being ‘world-class’. He has yet to achieve anything on the big stage and this brings immense injustice to a player like Paul Scholes. Perhaps this is another mind-game from the wily old Scot in an attempt to bring Rooney’s standard of play up another level to justify his price tag or to benefit the team, I don’t know. I do know he has to bring his game with him soon, if not Tevez and Saha should deservedly be in the first team and not Lame Looney.

Jose has Left the Building

Jose Mourinho has left Chelsea. As much as everyone has their negative comments about him, I am absolutely certain his presence will be missed. Let's take a pictorial journey on the impression he left on the Premier League.

Amidst the Blue revival under Roman Abramovich, a certain someone who won the Champions League with an unfancied Porto side was hired to replace Claudio Rainieri. He called himself The Special One, and from this picture, it isn't hard to see why. Armed with Roman's billions, to spend on transfers, he began his reign.


In the flurry of criticisms and hatred, he silenced every one by winning the Premier League and the League Cup, reaching the semi-final stages of the Champions League in the process. He has gone on to win one more League title and League Cup, one FA Cup, and one Community Shield in his 3 full seasons with Chelsea. Chelsea are currently unbeaten at home for a record 67 games in a row. Such are his achievements.




In his time at Chelsea, he has shown himself to have interesting character traits. The most attention-grabbing is his inability to lose with grace. Blaming everyone from the referee, his assistants, the FA, buses parked in front of goals, lunch...whatever. Sometimes he has a point, sometimes he doesn't. One thing's for sure, he usually gives the opponent the credit they deserve. One legacy he did leave behind is his stylish goal celebrations at the dugout, sometimes he even displays nonchalance. Nothing less from the Special One.




His antics were fodder for the press, who lapped up his every word and action. Every facial expression, every comment made, every mis-step was scrutinized. It was a field day for the media personnel covering any Chelsea event. Every reporter's dream.



All said and done, Jose is one polished Portuguese. His boyish looks, manly charms, sharp suits, sexy accent and the air of confidence around him left many women hot on their couches. He does have his off days though, but generally, he was hot enough.



And things began turning sour. His relationship with Roman turned frigid. I would say, it all started with the arrival of Andriy Shevchenko, Roman's good friend. Things snowballed and didn't look good at the end of last season. Roman's ominous departure in the recent 2-0 defeat against Villa spelled trouble. The support of his players, and the success he had was not enough to make him immune from the chop. More of an issue of personal differences than anything else, Mourinho was made to leave.



He carried the team on his shoulders, and wore his heart on his sleeve. He was extremely popular with the players, media and his own fans. I am certain he has converted many a hater in his time at Chelsea. And I am proud to say that I am one of them. The Premier League will never be the same without him. He will be missed. Will we see him in action on the sidelines in England for another team? Spurs are actively looking for a manager and they could hire him. But I feel it is unlikely that he will stay in the UK. If Spurs does hire Ramos from Sevilla, Mourinho could be moving to sunny Spain. Anyway, Jose has certainly left the building.

The Foe?

Name: Jermain Colin Defoe

Height: 1.70m

Date of birth: 07-10-1982

Position: Forward

Nationality: England

Tottenham Hotspur

Appearance (Substitute) - Goals

League: 85 (40) - 39

FA Cup: 7 (4) - 5

League Cup: 8 (2) – 9

Other: 2 (3) – 3

Jermain Defoe was a youth product of Charlton where he impressed enough to be purchased by then West Ham boss Harry Redknapp for a fee of £1.15million in 1999; he was only 19 years old then. In his 5 years at Upton Park he netted 51 goals and when The Hammers went down in 2003, it was almost inevitable that someone one of his quality would have no lack of suitors. Thus he followed the West Ham exodus of that season and joined Tottenham Hotspur for a hefty fee of £7million in 2004. This move saw him make his England senior debut as a substitute in March of the same year in a 1-0 defeat to Sweden. He subsequently handed his first start in a World Cup qualifying match against Poland in September 2004, scoring in a 2-1 win. He has clocked up 22 more caps after this and scoring 2 more goals. Blessed with quick feet, lightning reaction and explosive finishing, many people would have tipped him to achieve great things. This is precisely why I decided to devote an entire article to him.

He has made 5 league appearances for Spurs this season, all as a substitute. In his 24 international caps for England, he only started four of those games, with the rest as a cameo substitute. Sven brought an unfit Rooney and an untested 17 year old Walcott rather than a raring-to-go Defoe for the World Cup last year. In short, Defoe’s recent fortune with selection could be described as pitiful. Why is that so? Let’s look at the situation in both Spurs and England to have a better idea.

There are currently 4 forwards in the Tottenham setup – Berbatov, Keane, Bent and Defoe. You could say each has their own strengths and weaknesses but neither are goal scoring machines unless you count Berbatov’s 23 goal haul in all competitions last season as being prolific. He is the only one, I would have to say, that would be the only confirmed name on the team sheet in the forwards department. Keane’s strengths are his intelligence and creativity, leadership qualities, as well as his ability to score amazing goals to rouse his team mates. He would be second on the team sheet. This leaves Jermain Defoe and a £16.5million Bent on the bench.

One note on Bent; he has pace, strength, and aerial ability. But he is only slightly above average in those departments, and that arguably makes him a mediocre player. You could say he scored lots of goals during his time at Charlton but being the lone man up-front for the Addicks would mean he would have the most and best opportunities to become their top goal-scorer. After all that rambling, I will just sum up the player, which cost Spurs £0.5million more than what Barcelona paid for Theirry Henry, in one word – overrated.

With Tottenham involved in the domestic league, FA and League Cup competitions, and the Uefa Cup, there is supposed to be a host of games to keep each forward happy. The problem here lies in the international status of both Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe. Both are on the fringes of the team and need match time in order to impress and keep sharp. Playing bit-parts in competitions inferior to the League or Uefa competitions would definitely frustrate, or could even be detrimental to these players, who are of certain quality and expectation.

The fact that Spurs have got off to a poor start has pressured Martin Jol to keep the existing strikeforce of Berbatov and Keane. The only time this partnership was changed was against Derby when Bent was handed a starting place, ahead of Defoe. It was perhaps the fact that Defoe and Keane were never able to successfully play together that prompted Jol to make such a decision.

What this could mean for Defoe on the club level is increasing disappointment on the bench. This would affect his already dim international future. England usually employs a dual forward system and this would normally mean calling up 4-5 of them. In the upcoming Euro 2008 qualifier against Israel, McClaren called up Alan Smith, Michael Owen, Emile Heskey, Andrew Johnson and Jermain Defoe. Well-known for his liking of pairing a target-man with a speedy player, it would be a good guess to say that Heskey and Owen are the most likely to start.

A few words on McClaren (as you can see, I love to digress). I have always felt he has achieved nothing in club level for him to deserve a job like managing England. Owen is a paler shade of his old self, after losing his speed and agility after coming back from his long term injury. But yet, he is one of McClaren’s favourites. In my opinion, it would be logical to start Emile Heskey and Andy Johnson up front as the latter is in good form compared to Alan Smith (who is deployed as a centre-midfielder in Newcastle) and Jermain Defoe (who has a serious lack of match practice). Owen’s place in the squad should be given up to someone like Ashley Young or Gabriel Agbonlahor (both of whom have been putting in decent displays for Villa), since I feel his abilities and form does not warrant him a place. In essence, he is as daft a manager (tactically) as you can get.

Back to Defoe. It is unlikely he will play any part in this game as I see Andy Johnson coming before him in the pecking order, and putting 4 forwards on the field at the same time would only happen if England were down 1-0 with 15 minutes to go. And with Rooney and Crouch unavailable, Defoe’s England chances look bleak.

What now for this young man? To me at least, his abilities as a forward are undeniable and my heart aches to see such footballing injustice being done. My honest opinion is that he should move on to a club that will guarantee him regular first team action, and that England needs a new (read: more competent) manager for his talents to be recognized and put in better use. He should be least playing a more integral role rather than the plug-filling function that he is right now.

With such talent and promise, one can only lament the state that Defoe is in right now. I wish him all the best.